In The Depths Of Grief

How to survive the first year after the profound loss of the love of your life, and what to expect the second.

The unimaginable has happened—you are grieving the one person you didn’t want to live one single day without. The deep grief that comes with the loss of a partner is an experience unlike any other—profound, deeply personal and untethered to any timeline.

For some, grief is an all-consuming, soul-shattering force in the first year— a raw pain that lingers and carries into the years that follow. For others, deep grief emerges later — Year two, four or beyond. Maybe shock kept you from fully processing your emotions. Perhaps survival mode carried you for years, leaving your grief untended and raw. Or societal pressure to “move on” forced you to mask your pain, only now giving you space to face its complexities.

And for some, grief has been an unrelenting companion from the very beginning. Grief’s timeline is never linear, but it’s always valid.

Even though the world kept moving, your world stopped after your loss. Deep grief brings a flood of thoughts, feeling and emotions thatch feel overwhelming, scary and difficult to express for fear of judgment. Wherever you are in your journey, this is a normal part of the grieving process. The raw and honest truth of these experiences—often left unspoken—is gently explored and acknowledged here.

Life’s unexpected moments can bring you back to the most fragile parts of your soul, but this toolkit helps you survive those moments and find your next step—whether that’s tending to your heart with compassion, navigating overwhelming moments with practical tools, or simply figuring out where to begin. In The Depths of Grief offers a self-paced journey to understand and meet your grief's needs, helping you feel grounded and safer in your experience.

The reason behind this toolkit, and how it will support you

I know firsthand how isolating and challenging it is to live with a grieving heart in a world that urges you to “move on.” Grief is forever because love is forever. Deep grief can feel overwhelming, your sense of stability is shaken, without your person the world suddenly feels foreign and its pace feels at odds with your internal landscape. Life doesn’t stop for grief; curveballs continue, and new challenges can bring you back to the most fragile parts of your soul.

I created this toolkit from the depths of my own pain because I didn’t have any tools or guidance on how to navigate any of it. I had no idea that everything I was experiencing was normal and how to get myself through the deepest of waves with compassion. Instead, I was extremely hard on myself, judging my experience and feelings by comparing them to others, and I was completely overwhelmed with society’s timeline for my grief and expectations of when it’s been “enough”.

My intention with this toolkit is to offer guidance to help you navigate the depths of your grief with the grace and compassion that I wish I had given myself through the depths of mine. That in addition to support from others, you can see yourself as a beautiful source of compassionate support for your own heart, and discovering ways to honor your unique journey without the weight of societal judgement.

Most importantly, this toolkit will guide you in cultivating a compassionate relationship with your pain and yourself, all while releasing the pressure of “moving on” and” letting go”, and instead, remaining connected to your partner, your memories and your everlasting love.

A look inside the toolkit and what it offers

  • 5 Compassionate video modules

    Easy-to-navigate videos, worksheets, and simple practices to help you tend to your heart. Unlike other self-paced resources, The entire toolkit was created for you though video, rather than plain text or audio, because l deeply value connecting with your heart in a more personal and intimate way.

  • Affordable and flexible support

    Move through the content at your own pace. Pause, revisit, and adapt the tools to your needs. The entire toolkit costs less than a single therapy session, as it is very important for me that mental health and grief support is accessible to everyone.

  • On-demand guidance

    If you’ve joined grief support groups in the past but are now seeking more private, one-to-one like support, or don’t yet have the emotional capacity to hold space for other’s pain, have time and schedule restraints or want unlimited access resources and tools, this self-led support offers you solace in the moment and time you need it.

In the Depths of Grief toolkit will gently support and guide you through:

Releasing self-judgment and embracing self-compassion.

Developing a process to navigate your grief while maintaining and nurturing your connection and bond with your partner.

Reintegrating into social events and gatherings with tools to help you manage the waves of deep grief, anxiety, and unexpected triggers that may arise.

Guidance on creating small and manageable goals to regain a sense of agency and safety.

Cultivating a compassionate relationship to your grief and yourself and dealing with well-intentioned but hurtful and unhelpful comments and advice.

Replacing the pressure of “moving on” and letting go” with permission to live with your grief in a way that honors your profound loss and everlasting love.

Building your toolbox of resources and practices to navigate the overwhelming days and felling disconnected from yourself and others.

Milestones: Guidance and ideas on how to honor your needs while navigating Anniversaries, Holidays and Birthdays among other milestones without your partner.

Self-care: What it truly looks like in the context of grief and simple ways to care for yourself.

Secondary Losses: Coping with changes in family dynamics, loss of friendships and lack of support.

And so much more! 💗

This is Anthony. My husband, love of my life, my muse, inspiration and north star that continues to guide me and the inspiration behind this toolkit. His love is the cornerstone of my life and he is my grief embraced with love.

The worst day of my life was the day my husband Anthony, took his last breath and my heart kept beating.  He passed away from an aggressive Cancer in February of 2018.  He was 46 years young and I was 35 when the rug was swept from underneath me, as my heart and soul were shattered in a million pieces when I had to say goodbye to my extraordinary husband, best friend and love of my life. I was alive but not living, lost, in an aching and endless pain as profound as our love and I deeply struggled SO much for SO long.  I had zero tools and zero knowledge of grief and what to expect.  Everything hurt, even breathing.

I was the only widow I knew which made me feel like an alien on earth. Everyone around me was saying all the well-intentioned but unhelpful and hurtful things, which left me feeling worse and completely alone.  All I wanted was for my husband to come back through the door and for the nightmare that had become my life to go away, or for the earth to open up and swallow me whole.  Bearing what feels beyond unbearable can be an incredibly isolating journey in more ways than one.

This series of videos was created from the depths of my grief, straight from my heart to yours. It’s my hope that you don’t have to endure the same added suffering I did. These videos are filled with all the things I wish someone had said to me during my first years of raw, deep grief—so that you feel less alone as you navigate the depths of yours. I am holding your heart with mine, every step of the way.

Grief is a testament to love’s permanence. It is an honor to offer compassionate support and guidance to your grieving heart during this time when it needs it the most, while normalizing the reality of grief and life after a profound loss. Saying goodbye to the love of your life is an indescribable pain—one that feels unbearable, excruciating and isolating in many ways. But you are not alone. Through this toolkit, we’ll take the time to slow down, honor your grief, and gently tend to your heart. I’ll be supporting you every step of the way 💗